Imagine Big

You remeber how it felt as a little kid to dream big? I mean really big... so big you could convince yourself that you were invisible, or better yet that you could fly? Remeber when chopsticks were magic wands, and the kitchen table was your fort? I remeber when I really believed my Barbie dolls were talking, but only I could hear them.... remeber when your imagination could take you anywhere by just closing your eyes?

For a long time I forgot how to imagine - how to see everything as a possibility. This ran into every part of my life - EVERY PART! I couldn't imagine what I wanted to be, my dreams? Well, I had no aspirations. I knew what I was good at... but while I wanted more - I had no large gimongo goal to go after. School was a safety for me, I knew I wanted my degree more than anything - but what was I going to do with it? I felt locked up in a dark room... with doors surrounding me, and unsure which to choose - every path felt so wrong, but some lead to the potential of a sound future.

Now... oh yes now, that excitement has returned, the little spark that makes me want more! When did it return? The moment I saw my professor on Tuesday night... when she was excited to see me, whe she told me she uses my Will and Grace script to teach the difference between show versus tell ( in a good way). When she told me that I should pursue and continue my writing, because I have that potential! Do you know what it feels like to have someone you look up to so much, that for half of the semester you could sense the very greatness of all her knowledge it terrifyed you? And she tells you how amazed she is at your descriptive script writing? It humbled and excited me in a way I have not felt in ages... I mean I think it has been at least ten years since I have been this motivated and excited about my potential future.

Do not let this confuse you, I do not intend on writing scripts for my future... albeit I love doing it - and I will continue it as a hobby. Who knows, I might have the opportunity to pitch my writing someday. But, what I want more than anything is to discover where I fit in - in this massive world of Media, and this class.... this amazing eye popping, challenging, terrifying class is going to get me there! My imagination is going wild, the possibility makes my eyes sparkle.... and knowing I will have the opportunity makes me dream again....